A burqa is an enveloping outer garment worn by women in public in some Islamic traditions. Afghanistan calls their version of a burqa a chadri. The Afghan chadri even covers the wearer’s entire face except for an area around the eyes that’s covered by a net or grill. When the Taliban was in power, all Afghan women were required to wear a chadri and would be beaten if they didn’t comply. Today, Afghanistan doesn’t mandate that a woman wear a full chadri, but does require a woman’s head be covered if they are in public. This is because they believe the sight of a woman’s hair could evoke impure thoughts in the minds of men. In more urban areas such as Kabul, Afghanistan, women will cover their hair with decorative scarves. This tradition, which is part of every day life there but is completely foreign here in America where clothing is interpreted much differently.
After the fall of the Taliban regime, NATO developed an agenda to prepare the new Afghan democracy to function independently. Part of this agenda included human rights, especially gender equity. The Americans wanted to see more women represented in Parliament, in business, and in the Army. I mentioned in previous blogs that I worked closely with Gen. Sher Mohammad Karimi, chief of staff of the Afghan Army, as an advisor during the time before I returned to Ole Miss, and we had many frank conversations about this topic. I remember him telling me, “If you drive out into the countryside and look at our farms you’ll see a husband and wife working side by side in the field. That is gender equity.”
There was an occasion when a female U.S. Army officer had an appointment to speak to him on this very topic. I was also in the meeting at the general’s request. Women in the U.S. military wear their military headgear but by regulation remove their headgear indoor, thereby exposing their hair. Gen. Karimi was polite and agreeable throughout most of the meeting until the officer chose to challenge him on whether or not he had done enough to address the problem. She said, “We need to see that you respect all women. I need to see that you respect me.” I saw Karimi’s eyes light up and knew what was coming. He said, “You’re an American soldier, and I appreciate that. But you come into my office with your head uncovered knowing that is against my religion. You don’t respect my culture, so why should I respect you?”
I’ve had the fortune over the span of my career to visit many different continents and meet many different people. This has given me the opportunity to learn two lessons: we’re all very different, but at the same time we’re all the same. As the human race migrated across this planet, cultures developed and very distinct sets of morals and values were created. It’s easy for those who don’t understand these cultures to unfairly judge them and their values.
Most of the time when I’ve visited other countries I’ve represented the United States of America, whether in body armor or a business suit. Too often, I’ve seen that we do not do a good job of learning about the cultures in which we choose to embed ourselves. Instead, many people go in with the philosophy that ‘we’re the Americans and everyone should be like us.’ Well, as hard as it might be to believe, not everyone wants to be like us. This approach can even frustrate our allies serving with us overseas. A German officer once told me, “Do you know how we spell NATO in German? U.S.A.”
No one is more proud of being an American than me. However, I have personally taken the approach, whether as part of an occupying force or in an advisory capacity, of learning about cultures and exchanging ideas rather than dictating philosophy and values. What I’ve gained in return is a better understanding of the world around me and the people who occupy it. I’ve also learned that while there are distinct differences in our cultures, we all share the same motivations, the same fears, and the same challenges. So, while we’re all different, in many ways we’re the same.
Here at the University of Mississippi we have 93 countries represented in our collegiate community, and that’s just within our student body. That doesn’t count the diverse faculty we have on campus. The opportunity to learn about diverse cultures is right in front of us. As you go through the day, don’t shy away from someone because they might look different or speak differently. Take a moment and speak with them, learn about them, and allow them to learn about you. I promise you will be rewarded by the experience and come away a better person.